A Letter To Brides And Grooms - What Really Matters On Your Wedding Day

A few years ago, I penned a letter to brides and grooms expressing my thoughts on what matters on a wedding day. Having been married for 7 years, photographing dozens and dozens of weddings over the years and having recently become a father, I’ve revised my original letter to reflect some of my most recent experiences. I’d like to share it with you all as a little note to remember what the wedding day is all about.


“Dear future Bride and Groom,

If you really love the idea of documentary photography for your wedding then I want to be your wedding photographer. 

I'm not about the posed photographs or manufacturing a moment to look great. I'm into film cameras, black and white photography and grabbing authentic moments throughout a wedding day. I'm about waiting and finding those authentic moments and weaving a story through them. I'm about being in the midst of things while doing my best to not be noticed. My photography is about friends hugging a groom, a bride sitting with her sisters while getting make up on, the expression on a groom's face as he nervously waits for his bride, a flower girl staring up at the bride-to-be with wonder in her eyes.

In the midst of all this, as I sit and look at the photographs I’ve taken of couples over the years, I think of this: Time is so fleeting and goes by so fast. Take a moment to breathe and enjoy the moment. Your wedding day will fly by in a flash and it is so important to live in those moments! 

Regardless of whom you choose as your wedding photographer, know that the most important decision you will make is when you say "I do" at the altar to your spouse-to-be. Things fade over time but true love prevails over it all. Embrace your man/woman and love him/her with an amazing passion and keep that flame going even when the sweat pants come out and laundry needs to be done :)

And just one day, you may have children to call your own … or maybe not. But in the end, the wedding day will be one fantastic day in the timeline that is your life. Don’t sweat the small stuff and enjoy each moment of the day as it’s happening but remember that it’s a small part of something bigger and setting the stage for things yet to come. You may one day be telling a mini-version of you about the way you danced the night away.

Regardless of how a wedding day goes and regardless of the speed bumps and meltdowns along the way, know that the love that you have created with your special someone is more important and more rewarding than anything on Earth. Forge it well over the years and may the wedding day be just a start of a beautiful journey together. 



-Jonathan Desmond-
Documentary Photographer